Love is Spoken Here

Just another morning.

2009-06-18T09:24:00.000-07:00

Colorful Cookies

2009-05-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well, the other day, the kids and I decided to make colorful cookies!! It was so much fun!

I made an elephant and a dog

Kaylee ann made a little dog too.

Hayden wasnt too interestes so he made a bunch of little tiny pieces and called them colorful moose poo!

These were all the cookies we made...hope they tasete good!

Aaaaand this is how they turned out...

And best of all...they tasted terrible!!!

But they are cute to look at!

Homer!

2009-03-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, Dustin, Maggie, Clint and I went to Homer! I havent been there in years so I thought it might be a fun adventure!

If you look closely, all those specks on the beach are Eagles!!

They were everywhere! There must have been hundreds!!

I couldnt believe it! First, Maggie spotted one on a lightpost and we were way excited...then Clint looked forward and his eyes got very wide..."GUYS!!! LOOK!" We had never seen anything like it!

They just let you drive right up and take pictures!

I like this one because It looks like he is reading the sign!

I walked up to this one with my camera and he started flapping his wings and flew away then I fell on my bum!!! It still hurts!

Hide and seek...

2009-02-25T15:31:00.000-08:00

Well more like Monkey see monkey do!!!
Hayden simply copied all my awesome hiding places!!

He fits much better! I was stuck for a while. Maybe its payback for making him watch Doris Day movies all week! hmm....

I found the wedding pictures!

2009-02-20T11:01:00.001-08:00

Sorry im a little late with these pictures!

???

2009-02-12T16:15:00.000-08:00

Today, I realized that I was too quick to say "ah the mind of a two year old" when I was walking Kaylee Ann to the bus stop. As we were leaving the driveway, she says....

"If you become a Wizard when you grow up, do NOT make yourself black because I dont like Obama."

WOW. What do you say to that?

That guy...

2009-02-11T08:29:00.000-08:00

Hayden and I were listening to music this morning (he woke up at 5 this morning yay!) As I went through my usual songs, he found it hard to remember or even pronounce the names of the singers/ pianists. So this was his solution....

Andrea Bocelli is ... The guy with the broken eyes
Luciano Pavarotti ... The dead fat guy
Nat "king" cole ... The dead black guy
Rachmaninoff ... The dead guy with big hands.
Tony Bennett ... The shoe guy (I have no idea where he got that one!)

Ah, the mind of a two year old.

There was a farmer who had a dog...

2009-02-04T14:03:00.000-08:00

Attempt #1

Attempt #2

Oh, I give up!!!

Haydens reward for cooperating....

OREOS!

Bruno

2009-01-20T00:27:00.000-08:00

Cardiac Parol COMPLETE

2009-01-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

Cardiac Parol

I piss whistling because
I Love You with all my Bladder
Whopping wheezing
I Love You with all my Lungs
Electricly charged lush
I Love You with all my Brain
Filtering Flushing Frenzy
I Love You with all my Liver
Like frogs with their legs crossed
I Love You with all my Throat
Gorging on deliciousness
I Love You with all my Stomach
Coiling my sentiments, you do
I Love You with all my Intestines
Your sweet taste runs through my veins
I Love You with all my Pancreas
Like all the useless quirks you have
I Love You with all my Tonsils
Because you put up with my womanly curse
I Love You with all my Uterus
With all the happiness you bring to me
How could I Love Youwith just my heart?

Your healing touch seeps through my pain
I love you with all my aging hands
Dancing around so carelessly
I love you with all my veteran feet
With the image of growing old with you
I love you with all my shrinking mind
For your strength when I am weak
I love you with all my muscles
For giving me my eternal family
I love you with all my womb
With all the fullness you have brought to me
How can I love you with just my heart?

Though weary, you grip my hand with care
I love you with all my brittle bones
Seeing The Light as you smile at me
I Love you with all my wrinkled face
I fear for the passing as you hold me close
I Love you with all my aching joints
Stroking my head as you did in our youth
I love you with all my hair
You carry me to bed so gently
I love you with all my legs
We sleep so we might wake in eternity
For it is not my body I love you so dear
With all the happiness we will share forever
How can I not love you with all my soul

Too Funny...

2008-12-29T12:06:00.001-08:00

Hayden and Kaylee!

2008-12-19T17:21:00.000-08:00

Amber got a new camera and wanted me to try it out with the kids today! They didnt turn out that great but we still had lots of fun!!

I had to bribe Hayden with chocolate to get him to smile, but it was worth it.

Hayden and I were so happy that Kaylee Ann didnt have school today! We love it when she can stay home and play with us!

40,000 Feet Closer To Heaven

2008-12-16T14:25:00.001-08:00

If you were to ask someone who recently had the opportunity to visit
the beautiful state of Florida, "What was your favorite part?" You might get
answers like "The beach, the shopping, escaping the frigid air of Alaska!"
I, myself would have a very different answer.
While on the plane from Alaska to Florida, I was beset by bitterness by all
who were around me. My siblings arguments were getting much more
aggressive. No more hair pulling and annoying poking...They were going
strait for the throats! I could no longer maneuver around the hatered being
tossed around like a used barf bag waiting to fall into my lap. I was about
to lose control.
Ah, the miracle of an iPod! I borrowed my dads musical deliverer from irritating
disputes. Not expecting a great selection of tunes pleasing to my ear, I
searched in the Artists file. Nothing. So I went to playlists and saw something
that peaked my interest...something bound to save me from flushing my siblings
heads in the crouded latrine. the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
As all the familiar lines and words echoed in my head, all my anger and frustration
evaporated as the Comforter melted my chilling pride. I looked outside my window
and saw a splendor of unseen beauty. I felt as if I were negotiating with gravity and
sailing above the clouds. The flushed sun peered at my face, but I didnt close my
eyes. Never before had I felt so close to Heaven before. I was no longer in a
pressurized perspiring cabin, but a free spirit in the presence of The Savior.
Yes, the shows, the malls, the people, and the food was marvelous in Florida,
but nothing compared to the wonders of the Holy Spirit as I sought out freedom.
As it is the Christmas season, I cant help but remember that day and know
that I could never feel such peace if my Redeemer was never born. This has made
the Christmas season more Holy than past years. I am so thankful I have the
means to seek the Spirit as I begin to feel weary. The fruits of His words are
in my reach, and I will keep grasping.

Non Fiction

2008-11-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

Free at Last

It all began with a beat. A palpatating rhythm is my first encounter through a shared pulse running through our veins, for I am still a part of her. A listener from the start. The muffled frequencies of the outside are uncharted to me for now. It is here that I learned my first melody. Succesion of single tones. An agreeable arrangement. Most may say it is impossible for something of my 'stature' to know. To process. To hear. That was not the belief of my carrier as her everyday ritual consisted of an ancient cassette taoe with her favorite tunes of principal harmonies and connected speech. Each a prayer to our harmonized souls. As the lofty music entangles me, I feel her embrace as I see the shadows of ten long digits projecting through her protective force protecting me. Mine are much smaller than hers, but someday, they will bring joy to the receivers of sound.

It is now my time to pass through a veil and into my journey's dawning. Time to say adieu to my sanctuary and maternal nest for my lease is belated.

My once linked body is now detached. My new world is a neverending expance giving me clearence to amplify and thrive.
"Goodnight my sweet child." A blanket of comfort escapes my Mother's mouth as she departed my room with an affectionate glance. I have never been aquainted with a lonesome surrounding like now. Bleached bars confine me with a chilling texture unlike my mother's assurance.

What seems like eternal is altered with a familiar sound.
Suddenly, A wave of orchestrated warmth greets me as each word emerges from the tape. Each resolution is a triumph, each voice so pure. Every plunk of the piano employs pure color. This repitition, no doubt, is creating a passion.

By the Credulous age of two, these songs are still part of my everyday routine. The only difference is now I sing along.
"Won't you sing for me?" My mother asks frequently, nearly every day. "You need practice!" She shakes her wrinkled finger at me with a stern softness in her voice.

I am singing at an elderly woman's baptism. There is no such thing as getting nervous, because the butterflies are my playmates. The woman sitting in front of me with her pristine countinence angles her head awaiting my performance. Her sterling mane floats over her head like smoke. Her youthful smile invites me to begin...

Oh Lord my God

when I in awsome wonder

consider all the worlds thy hands have made

These words so simple to me are merely a performance of my practice

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

The words arise and are more than simple speech. They defy worldly utterances and become a delicasy.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee

how great Thou art, how great Thou art

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee

how great Thou art, how great Thou art.

My voice is no longer of a child, but an angel singing in my place with a resounding innocence. As I finish the fourth verse, I know my life's vocation will be surrounded by music. My love for a melody is a congenital disease that I will enbrace for the rest of my life.

My affinity grows with me as I become a young lady. I am still the same girl, but my enveloping life is faultering with every word entering the pages of my story. My parents ask all of us children to gather around the clumbsy wooden table my father forged when I was a small child. He could do anything. I instantly resign to a memory of hide and seek with all the chairs tucked in and fused together by my body. What a delightful way to begin mourning.

"Your mother and I have decided to get a divorce. The decision has nothing to do with you. You are the best thing that has ever become of us, and we want you to know it is not your fault." My father delivers as my momentary joy retreats. He continues to read a passage from a book about keeping a family together through a parental divorce. I find no solace from the text, only agitation. All I must do is confide in that steadfast beat in my cemented chest. With each quaking meter, a crack emerges allowing light to strain through. I now wait for my time alone.

It was an unusually obscure afternoon and dusk was approaching. The only source of light raidiated from the rustic lamp on the piano. I lay my confused fingers on the pearly keys as some lose their place and find reasurance on the charcoal keys that create a beautiful distortion which suits my dispair. Flat. Sharp. Wrong, but so right. My brain disconnects from my hands and they begin their ballad. I cleanch my humid eyes as my agony drains from my fingertips. Don't stop, for the heartache is drowning my sprit. The marrow of my being is quivering with no indication of rest. Not a trace of peace. Not until my bones are hushed.

I can see a beam of hope when the aria of serenity takes its toll on me. I uncover my shielded eyes as they direct their focus to my reconnected hands. A salt water ocean floods my drenched hands. Each tear a reminder of my forgotten pain.

Each day I face adversity to some degree. The people I once called friends are now my adversary. To this day, the most important aspect of my life is music. I must never forget the hardship it has hoisted me from. I know that if I have faith, it will give me strength in times of hopeless sorrow.

Dream Children a Reverie by Charles Lamb

2008-11-06T14:29:00.000-08:00

I was reading a blog of a friend when I saw a quote she posted by Percy Bysshe Shelley, the husband of Mary Shelly, the author of Frankenstein. This took me back to a class I took called Academic Literature which the main focus was on english literature throughout time. Our first piece being Beowulf which I must say is much better than any movie hollywood could have made. I never knew this, but it is amung the first writings found in this area dated back to the Anglo-Saxon period. As the class continued, I began to love it more as we read Shakespeare, works of some of the most famous poets, and studied art. It is hard for me to remember anything specificly unless I am reminded of them, but today I remembered a specific essay by Charles Lamb that really struck me. He was a loney man who spent his life taking care of his sick sister...never having the chance at a family of his own.... so here it is

Dream Children A Reverie
By Charles Lamb

CHILDREN love to listen to stories about their elders, when they were children; to stretch their imagination to the conception of a traditionary great-uncle, or grandame, whom they never saw. It was in this spirit that my little ones crept about, me the other evening to hear about their great-grandmother Field, who lived in a great house in Norfolk (a hundred times bigger than that in which they and papa lived) which had been the scene -- so at least it was generally believed in that part of the country -- of the tragic incidents which they had lately become familiar with from the ballad of the Children in the Wood. Certain it is that the whole story of the children and their cruel uncle was to be seen fairly carved out in wood upon the chimney-piece of the great hall, the whole story down to the Robin Redbreasts, till a foolish rich Person pulled it down to set up a marble one of modern invention in its stead, with no story upon it. Here Alice put out one of her dear mother's looks, too tender to be called upbraiding. Then I went on to say, how religious and how good their great. grandmother Field was, how beloved and respected by every body, though she was not indeed the mistress of this great house, but had only the charge of it (and yet in some respects she might be said to be the mistress of it too) committed to her by the owner, who preferred living in a newer and more fashionable mansion which he had purchased somewhere in the adjoining county; but still she lived in it in a manner as if it had been her own, and kept up the dignity of the great house in a sort while she lived, which afterwards came to decay, and was nearly pulled down, and all its old ornaments stripped and carried away to the owner's other house, where they were set up, and looked as awkward as if some one were to carry away the old tombs they had seen lately at the Abbey, and stick them up in Lady C.'s tawdry gilt drawing-room. Here John smiled, as much as to say, "that would be foolish indeed." And then I told how, when she came to die, her funeral was attended by a concourse of all the poor, and some of the gentry too, of the neighbourhood for many miles round, to show their respect for her memory, because she had been such a good and religious woman; so good indeed that she knew all the Psaltery by heart, ay, and a great part of the Testament besides. Here little Alice spread her hands. Then I told what a tall, upright, graceful person their great-grandmother Field once was; and how in her youth she was esteemed the best dancer -- here Alice's little right foot played an involuntary movement, till, upon my looking grave, it desisted -- the best dancer, I was saying, in the county, till a cruel disease, called a cancer, came, and bowed her down with pain; but it could never bend her good spirits, or make them stoop, but they were still upright, because she was so good and religious. Then I told how she was used to sleep by herself in a lone chamber of the great lone house; and how she believed that an apparition of two infants was to be seen at midnight gliding up and down the great staircase near where she slept, but she said "those innocents would do her no harm;" and how frightened I used to be, though in those days I had my maid to sleep with me, because I was never half so good or religious as she -- and yet I never saw the infants. Here John expanded all his eye-brows and tried to look courageous. Then I told how good she was to all her grand-children, having us to the great-house in the holydays, where I in particular used to spend many hours by myself, in gazing upon the old busts of the Twelve Caesars, that had been Emperors of Rome, till the old marble heads would seem to live again, or I to be turned into marble with them; how I never could be tired with roaming about that huge mansion, with its vast empty rooms, with their worn-out hangings, fluttering tapestry, and carved oaken pannels, with the gilding almost rubbed out -- sometimes in the spacious old-fashioned gardens, which I had almost to myself, unless when now and then a solitary gardening man would cross me -- and how the nectarines and peaches hung upon the walls, without my ever offering to pluck them, because they were forbidden fruit, unless now and then, -- and because I had more pleasure in strolling about among the old melancholy-looking yew trees, or the firs, and picking up the red berries, and the fir apples, which were good for nothing but to look at -- or in lying a out upon the fresh grass, with all the fine garden smells around me -- or basking in the orangery, till I could almost fancy myself ripening too along with the oranges and the limes in that grateful warmth -- or in watching the dace that darted to and fro in the fish-pond, at the bottom of the garden, with here and there a great sulky pike hanging midway down the water in silent state, as if it mocked at their impertinent friskings, -- I had more pleasure in these busy-idle diversions than in all the sweet flavours of peaches, nectarines, oranges, and such like common baits of children. Here John slyly deposited back upon the plate a bunch of grapes, which, not unobserved by Alice, he had meditated dividing with her, and both seemed willing to relinquish them for the present as irrelevant. Then in somewhat a more heightened tone, I told how, though their great-grandmother Field loved all her grand-children, yet in an especial manner she might be said to love their uncle, John L----, because he was so handsome and spirited a youth, and a king to the rest of us; and, instead of moping about in solitary corners, like some of us, he would mount the most mettlesome horse he could get, when but an imp no bigger than themselves, and make it carry him half over the county in a morning, and join the hunters when there were any out -- and yet he loved the old great house and gardens too, but had too much spirit to be always pent up within their boundaries -- and how their uncle grew up to man's estate as brave as he was handsome, to the admiration of every body, but of their great-grandmother Field most especially; and how he used to carry me upon his back when I was a lame- footed boy -- for he was a good bit older than me -- many a mile when I could not walk pain; -- and how in after life he became lame-footed too, and I did not always (I fear) make allowances enough for him when he was impatient, and in pain, nor remember sufficiently how considerate he had been to me when I was lame- footed; and how when he died, though he had not been dead an hour, it seemed as if he had died a great while ago, such a distance there is betwixt life and death; and how I bore his death as I thought pretty well at first, but afterwards it haunted and haunted me; and though I did not cry or take it to heart as some do, and as I think he would have done if I had died, yet I missed him all day long, and knew not till then how much I had loved him. I missed his kindness, and I missed his crossness, and wished him to be alive again, to be quarrelling with him (for we quarreled sometimes), rather than not have him again, and was as uneasy without him, as he their poor uncle must have been when the doctor took off his limb. Here the children fell a crying, and asked if their little mourning which they had on was not for uncle John, and they looked up, and prayed me not to go on about their uncle, but to tell them, some stories about their pretty dead mother. Then I told how for seven long years, in hope sometimes, sometimes in despair, yet persisting ever, I courted the fair Alice W---n; and, as much as children could understand, I explained to them what coyness, and difficulty, and denial meant in maidens -- when suddenly, turning to Alice, the soul of the first Alice looked out at her eyes with such a reality of re-presentment, that I became in doubt which of them stood there before me, or whose that bright hair was; and while I stood gazing, both the children gradually grew fainter to my view, receding, and still receding till nothing at last but two mournful features were seen in the uttermost distance, which, without speech, strangely impressed upon me the effects of speech; "We are not of Alice, nor of thee, nor are we children at all. The children of Alice called Bartrum father. We are nothing; less than nothing, and dreams. We are only what might have been, and must wait upon the tedious shores of Lethe millions of ages before we have existence, and a name" ------ and immediately awaking, I found myself quietly seated in my bachelor arm-chair, where I had fallen asleep, with the faithful Bridget unchanged by my side -- but John L. (or James Elia) was gone for ever.

Sorry, Im a little late! More to come!

2008-11-06T13:06:00.001-08:00

So I have lots and lots of great pictures from the wedding but have no time to get them all on here! These are some that I somehow uploaded already! Amanda, I will get the rest for you!

Bouncing Bears!!!

2008-10-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

So saturday was AWESOME! Marissa, you were right! Bouncing Bears is amazing!!! My friends son was having a birthday party there and I INSISTED on going! I am so glad I did!

I mostly attempted to keep up with my nephew Hayden which was alot of fun!

Its a real Love/Hate relationship...

His favorite thing to do was punch things!!

We got into a few binds together....

I met a new friend! This is my niece kaylee ann and her friend Jeramiah!

Hayden LOVED the slides...I didnt so much because he was too small to climb up the ladder and I had to carry him!!!

Just when I got too tired to carry him, I made Buddy take over and I took pictures!

He had alot of trouble keeping his balance which made for a good laugh

Everyone hated me because I forced them all to take pictures with me!

This was our hiding place!!!

He was so excited he didnt know what to think!

Buddy did a good job pushing hayden down things....

This is Talon, the Birthday boy!!!

What a day!!!

Poetry...once again.

2008-09-19T02:51:00.000-07:00

DNR

Vandal of my shivering heart
take no heed to my condition
convulsions ravish
with your pending regard
Dont dare revive
remaining transient grandeur
Oh, seizer of my droning ventricle
pirouette amungst my yielding sentiments
serenity sutures
with your sterling endearment
Dont dare revive
embodied reverie so certain
Hoax of my condoning coronary
bare benignacy to my uncertain reflex
thrombosis obstuckting
with your altered intent
Dont dare revive
recollection of dominion once rapt
Vandal of my Shivering heart
take no heed to my death
convulsions subside
with your terminal departing
Dont dare revive
prognosis of hope manifests.

"Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is 'elephant'."

2008-09-14T05:38:00.000-07:00

I have a new Love!
My favorite section at Blockbuster is, of course, the 'Classics.'
I simply could not find a movie that peaked my interest.
I examined every cover searching for my gateway to an old world
I so wish I could experience.
I traveled through the A's, B's, C's, and so on...
but it wasnt until I reached the M's that I found something that
would soon be something I dont know how I lived without.
Modern Times.

Not knowing what to expect, I began to watch the video. I had never

seen anything quite as old as this, but I kept an open mind.

But as soon as Charlie Chaplin appeared on the screen, I fell in love

with his comical genious and deep understanding of his character.

I later found out that he composed the Score for many of his movies

including Modern Times. You could only imagine my excitment!

He was not simply an actor or composer, his many titles include

Director, Writer, Editor, and producer. I am truely amazed!

If you were to watch Modern Times and listen to the score,

you might recognize the tune....Ill give you a little hint...

Although it is a silent film, in many parts you can read the actors lips

Charlie Chaplin's last words in the film were "Smile"

You may have heard the wonderful rendition performed by Nat King Cole.

A truely classic and uplifting song inspired and written by a man who really

knows how to Smile.

"That is why, no matter how desperate the predicament is, I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane, straightening my derby hat and fixing my tie, even though I have just landed on my head. "

To My Fair Kayla

2008-09-13T01:55:00.000-07:00

Oh how time flies!

My dearest friend has just left to Hawaii for college and I am going to miss her so!

We were a match when we first met in the first grade!
As much as we liked to pretend to be "bad girls" we were sissys at heart.

It would seem that we complete eachother.
And yes we do....who else could be as silly as us?

Sometimes we were too much alike...
But together, we sure made a team!
Kayla Ashley Robert...You have been my friend for so very long...nothing will ever change that...
Our memories will be the best of us

even if we are so far apart!

Poetry

2008-09-08T23:16:00.000-07:00

Now this was an interesting assignment!
We had to write a poem but use the format
to assist with the meaning of the poem.
For exampe..... a large gap between two
words can bring emphasis on that word...
Lets see if you understand....

Old man's dream
mirrors my
j
o
u
r
n
e
y

Creation begins with
a beaten path
taken
by
all
Choosing virtue
Confronted by a
ROD

STRAIT
centered in the
NARROW
PATH
grasp with fervent faith
with a destination
a TREE
of LIFE
forever eat the fruit
of ETERNAL HAPPINESS

discouraged
FOG
clouding the next step
HIS word I keep ahold
SCORN
tall and spacious
BUILDING
fools lost their way
NOT
EASY
grasp tighter
TRIP
squander the TRUE word
S EARCHING
falling through
a hole
in THE
River
just my size
reach out
the TREE
it's LIGHT
shines through my fingertips
like HIS fingers
grasping mine

out
me
pulling

Flickering faith
ashes of truth
rekindle with
HOPE
REACH
for the IRON
Words remembered
but not accessable
PURE LOVE
ONE whos never ben
LOST
but knows my suffering
guiding me
Back to the PATH
STRAIT
"Youre not Alone"
HIS WORDS
my rod speaks
HIS TREE
vanquish my vision
HIS LOVE
I'll make it there

As I tried to publish this the first time here on my blog, it would
not let me use the exact spacing that I used in my original poem, but
you will get the idea. It was quite fun reading this poem in a class with
no LDS members in it. It left it open for many discussions because they
didnt understand the importance of the words. I am so grateful to have
the knowledge that I do so I may understand revelations and visions of wise
men before me.

Even more writing

2008-09-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

In Mr. Marvels wonderful creative writing class, He assigned a fiction project to us. I never thought I would like writing fiction as much as I love writing Non Fiction and poetry, but when I heard the specifics of the assignment, I knew I was in for a fun project!
We were asked to find music with no lyrics that is special to us...something that speaks to us with no words. We were supposed to close our eyes and picture a story as we listen...WELL...this was something I did on an EVERY DAY BASIS!!! Classical music is my forte so I had much to choose from...but it was quite clear to me which music spoke to me the most....

Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini Variation 18

Lonely steps unmatching to the grooves of the ground, I hear the splashing
slush of hopes awaiting their chance to be showers of spring. Central Park
is especially lonesome tonight, as she is abandoned by the regard of the sun.
Passions of the night forget her as hatred hails her paths. I find no fear with her
company as we are the same. Alone am I. Afraid I am not. Her skinless touch
grazes the vacant gap where once a heart freely supplied me life. A life I lived
for a woman. Shes gone now. She is but a crack in the sidewalk here as I walk
with my true love. We both, I and this bare strech of sadness, find comfort
together, but equal nothing. I wander her grass as she is a vagabond of my
mind. Here we are hand in hand just as the night before. aproaching us is a
young couple, fresh love. Giggles of sweetness is all that I hear, but not all I see.
On her cheek is where his hand resides, granting fire to the lightpost which gives
me no such sight. I despise the gentleman. the hand he holds is real. Her
soothing fingertip tickle his face. When he closes his eyes she clenches his arm.
I close my eyes just the same. Feeling the arms wrapped around mine. But when
I open these hell barers, She isnt really there. The man, seeing me, holds her
tighter. One day, if he opens his eyes too soon, she may be gone. He knows.

Oh, my envy may it murder my body as it has done my soul.

Around the corner I expect to see an empty bench as always. It is there that I
usually sit and reflect on my memories as one detail is erased with each night.
Through the trees, it reveals itself more with each step, only to take me by
surprise. Tonight, a woman sits. With one broken heel on her scuffed beige
shoes, she watches her teardrops fall, hitting her polka-dot dress with a splash,
much like the water under my feet. Aproaching her side I cant help but wonder
how such a beauty can match my despair. Never before have I heard of angels
cry. Sorrow does not suit her. The sky matches her face too well. A sin has been
commited tonight. She notices my presence and lifts her chin directing it to mine.
Unable to look away, I feel her sorrow ignite the ashes I hardly remembered
existed. A dainty blonde curl climbs its way to her eyelid forcing me to explore
her eyes. Her skin fair as her heart. So soft it must be. No words had to be said,
but if she did speak, I can picture her saying " I promised I would be here, now i'll
never leave your side." As i raise my hand to catch the hair, a tear falls from her
delicate figure. For once her tears were the ones found in my palms. moving the
blonde bow that plays the strings of my new found heart, I catch her lips whisper
a sound. Afraid to ask her to repeat her words, I touch her lips with my close
hand. The last cool breeze im sure to encounter grips my coat urging me to
place it over her shoulders. As charming as I can be, i stand reaching out my
hand to guide her to her feet. As she reaches, her frame becomes clouded.
She smiles with a warmth I musnt doubt I have felt before. Suddenly our joined
hands revealed their familiarity. The woman was mine. She has always been
mine for all time. Sitting on this bench she has waited for me.

Together we walk now in my solitude. No longer will I need her, my tourist trench.
I don't ask her name, as words wake reality. This pure dove clenching my fingertips
sighs with each stroke of my hand. The sun rises as we stroll towards union.
Just as I blink, darkness returns flooding my soul. I see her still with her translucent
hand stretched out for mine.

As she stands to join me for good, her form is gone. Searching my empty hand I
find no tear that of hers, but only of mine. Mine all along. All around me I seach
yearning for my love to return. I sit on the bench. Waiting for her. Eternity after
eternity passes by me as i wait.And yet, Someone else calls me. My old friend.
My lonely place, my world of grace I once was within. stretching me to my feet,
she forces me to go. Find her, the angel of my existence. Lost no longer will I
be, for where ever she is, thats were my soul has been. to her i declair "I
promise i will be here, and ill never leave your side."

Please let me know what you think! Keep in mind I simply wrote what I thought while the song played. There was not much thought put into it!

Just more Writing

2008-09-06T16:00:00.001-07:00

The fair

2008-09-01T16:11:00.001-07:00

"Our state fair is a great state fair..."

Amy!
Me!

I got to spend some quality time with my favorite man in the whole world!

As I was walking I thought I had something in my shoe, so I look down and this is what I saw.
OH He is my second favorite man (Batman you have competition now!)
MMM Amy Loves those funnel cakes!

This was as close to the rides as we would get!
Expressing our political views.
Me and Rosie
YAY! We are finally in!

Enjoying the flowers while we wait in a very long line...

Getting ready to see the animals!
On our way!

Check out that line!
Amy...I think she spotted the rooster man!

Hatcher Pass and Summit Lake

2008-09-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day, so Clinton and I took a drive to hatcher pass.
By the time we got there, it wasnt so nice out anymore, but I still had alot of fun!

We found a hidden path that led to a really cool bridge!

This parked van was so cool!

We also saw a Russian guy with the coolest beard I have ever seen, but buddy wouldnt let me take a picture of him as he was asking for directions. That pretty much ruined the tip for me.
Oh no!!! SNOW!!

This looks like the work of a Hayes boy...hmmm.

Summit lake was beautiul! The water was very clear.

A baby moose also decided to say hello. It walked towards us until we saw its mother

we thought we better leave it alone!

It turned out to be a fun trip!

Diaper Cake!!!

2008-09-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

My friend Yana finally had her baby!
Amanda and I could NOT resist.
We put our money together and gathered
the things we might need to make
A DIAPER CAKE! (or Nappy cake if you are english)

It all began with the first tear...

It was easy for us beginners to handle.

Then the second tear, which was quite bigger, therefore harder for us

to keep under control.

Then that blasted largest tear! It took alot of work to keep all

the nappys together! It was a challenge, but we overcame!!

Now to put all of the gifts in...
we rolled washclothes into candles
The frilly socks became roses
And everything else we could find decorated or cake!
This was by far the funnest gift I have ever made for someone...And Yana loved it!
Amanda found the video directions on youtube. For more ideas and pictures go to
Megan.cc

Amber and Rhetts Wedding!

2008-08-27T15:01:00.001-07:00

They Finally did it...and with one week's notice!!!

Profile of Someone

2008-07-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

This is the first formal Non-fiction story I wrote in my creative writing class. I suppose it would be a sin not to share something that I love to do. Thomas S. Monson did say "Share your talents. Share your talents, for that which we willingly share, we keep." ...So here it goes.

Profile of Someone

Grasping the handle bars of the wheelchair, I break through the threshold to the
past.The surrounding prison walls contain history enscribed on tattered papers.
Photos of a lost lifetime entise me. Torn books stacked with a lonesome touch mark
the pattern of a once thorough being. No doubt this ghost was once a woman of
integrity and love. The arranged figurines on her abandoned desktop were simply a
reacuring pass-time. The hazard-free floors free of her feminine touch were bare as
her vacant eyes. The only reseblence of gentleness in her desolate solitude were the
donated floral curtains wrinkled as her face.

The light almost never shines through them anymore.

Her wool covered feet cross over eachother hiding her journey's impressions. One
pant leg pulled up as a result of her lack in care. Her shaking hands clench a baby
close to her bosom, her only key to remembrance. The resemblence of her and
her plastic child are too much to bare, for once you see her cadaverous face you know
her whole world is just that moment. Nothing but a dishoveled mind remains.
"Is there anything you would like to do before dinner?" My twelve hour shift
had added an overtaxed frequency to my voice. Her wistful eyes turned away
searching for the meaning of my phrase. No words had left her degenerative jaws for
as long as I had known her. A contracted pound to the worn surface of her desk was
her only communication. On occasion, her confusion gets the better of her emotions.
With a deep and necassery inhale I gather my patience and take out her photo album.
I am told it calms her agitation. Her confusion does not subside when she is introduced
to her family. She meets them for the first time. This remedy is not working. I take a
moment to regain my composure as I take a glance around her despairing room.
My eyes catch sight of a familiar symbol. A picture of a building tall and white. A
calming feeling overcomes me as I see means of connecting to this lonesome
woman. I ask her what this shrine means to her.
The curtains begin to exhale as a brilliant beam of luminosity echoed throughout
the room. Her face was a cadger of splendor which had no intent to repay the
radiance. As Life returned to her corpse eyes, one word escaped her rejuvenated
mouth..

Eternity.

The picture on the wall was the everlasting image of Forever with the single most
important thing this this life time. Family. It is where she was married for Time and
All Eternity to the love of her existence. I mirrored myself in this woman for it is where
I too wish to be married some day. This spirit that was alone for so long was now a
pair of wide open curtains that will forever shine with the knowlege that even though
she is parted from her beloved now, when this breif mortality is over, she has the
blessing of eternal happiness with her ceaseless love and the family she created.
I fervently pray in thanks for the opportunity to know and to be at fault for the rebirth
of a lost soul and the hindmost evolution of my own self. She taught me that even
though my family is seemingly in shambles, I too can have Eternity with the one
I choose and the family I create.